Ever since the start of the show and before the offical start of my fashion label, people have been telling me, I should be on Project Runway. I have tossed it over and mildly entertained the idea the first few seasons. My confidence always got the best of me.
... I'm not that good... people will not like my ideas... I don't do my artist seriuos enough or want people to judge me..
Well two years ago I gained the confidence to do my first big fashion show for Baltimore Fashion Week, summer 2009. It was a snow balling effect. I not only wanted to show some of my ideas to the public but designed an elaborate 20 piece collection themed "Nightmares and Daydreams" kind of sums up what I feel in life. Nightmares that I will loose something or someone, crack under the pressure, dissapoint people, and thusly not having the confindence to succeed. Then on the other had I always daydreamed of making it, making great things, some how changing the world.
After my first show I got rave reviews, a positive response from alot of people. I am still a really modest person when it comes to my art. I didn't let one sucess go to my head. Show after show, and more and more fans, I was feeling better about things in my reach.
The thought of Project Runway kept popping up. I religious watched the show season to season and compared myself to different contestants. There where points I was like I could do better then him or her. I started to think why haven't I just tried to do it. Even to just experience the journey and see where it takes me learn for sucess and failure.
After I completed "A Day of Fashion & Tribue to Alexander McQueen", Diva Davanna's mothers actually sent me an application. She was a wondering lady and shared my visions with me. Her daughter, the Diva, inspired me alot being so young and going out there infront of America and working it. She has great confindence, but is still a modest person and isn't affected by her fame. These were all issues with me.
I passed up applying that year, and told myself I just need to get one more great collection under my belt. It sounded like a plan was starting. Well I got more of my work out there and my confidence was blooming.
Life was getting in the way a bit tho and more person stuggles got me down. My friends and family were where there to pick me back up though. I checked the website of the year's applicantion, and the link was gone. I was sad I got up the guts and the chance had past again. I went back to work and life and trying to do more great things.
Out of the blue I got a text from my favorite D.C. designer, Duane Walker... it was a link to the application. With just about 2 weeks to spare. This was sign, don't over look yet another person that has faith in you, have faith and go for it.
I printed out the application... all 25 pages...WOW! I took a deep breath and started reading. It wasn't terrible, but alot of diffent question and a video taped interview and pictures and sample of works.
In the week to follow it was an emotional rollacoaster! Thinking and over thinking the questions, talking it all over with friends. They told me just to be me and people will like my sincerity. Some questions brought up thoughts of joy others thoughts of saddness. I got through them. When it came time for the person video, I just went for it and it wasn't that bad. Then off to good old Walmart to print out my photos. The women at the photo center was so helpful and she was excited for me.
She said she had wanted to be a fashion design but somehow she didn't go for it and now here she was... I told her it's never too late!
With the help of my parents, who have become so supported over the past few years really excited for me and my achievements. It means alot to have them behind me on this. Together we put the finishing touches on my packet and got it off to Fedex.
So now my packet is some where heading across the country to California, I have my fingers cross. My family, friends, fans and stalkers are all behind me ! :)
Just want the chance to show America what i've got and hope add a new facet to fashion.
